Help, Please!

I admit it!  I have a difficult time asking for help. I view it as a deficiency on my part although we have all received help at some point in our lives. No one was born with infinite knowledge and resources. It had to be learned; given to us. Somewhere, at some point, someone gave us a helping hand.  On the flip side, I also don’t want to be a burden to anyone.  You know, people rolling their eyes or sighing when you walk in a room.  

However, I’ve been talking to some very wise people and doing a lot of soul searching.  I’m proud to announce that I’m experiencing a change of mind and heart.  There is no shame in asking for help.  I still have to fight feeling like a burden or failure, but those thoughts don’t equal reality.  Asking for help is OK!  A sign of wisdom AND maturity. 

This new revelation also diminished the Superwoman complex.  I wouldn’t mind being Wonder Woman with the fancy belt and invisible jet, but that’s another post.  Chronically speaking, I’ll even ask for help when experiencing a lupus flare.  Sometimes I need help running errands or moral support.  Many times I need the help to avoid having a flare in the first place!  My life coach called it proactive care and flare care. (catchy, huh?) 

Need examples? 

Proactive care:  Instead of climbing up the shelves at the grocery store, I’ll ask someone taller if they can get that box of cereal for me. 

Flare care:  Instead of trying to be “productive” at home when I’m having a flare (tripping, stumbling, dropping things and hurting myself in the process), I’ll call a friend for a lively chat.

Radical concepts!  In conclusitory*, think before you say “call me if you need anything,” because your phone may ring!

(*I know conclusitory isn’t a word, but it sounds good.)