I have spent a lot of time in the past 8 months or so thinking about some of the folks I have called my friends over the years. I have been thinking about the way they treat me and how I treat and interact with them. I have to admit there have been times over the years where in an effort to make some folks feel less insecure I have dimmed my light in their presence. With certain folks, it felt like every time I had a praise report or revelation for a vision, I would watch their entire countenance change. I have watched them get bitter when some one complimented or celebrated me. I have endured them trying to indirectly blame me for the areas in their life where they have failed to live up to their God given potential. I have heard them minimize my successes. These are the same people that I have rejoiced with and cheered them on through every victory in their life big or small. I have been silent through a lot of this because I didn’t want to make them feel more insecure, because I was being loyal to memories of our good times and I because I did not want to be accused of being vain.
The truth of the matter is I have done them, myself and who God has made a great disservice. The attention I have often gotten for things that I have done I have not sought. I recognize it is the gifting that God has given me. It is His light in me shinning outward.
- I’m kind because I feel it is the right thing to do. Not because I’m trying to gain public approval.
- I’m funny because God gave me a sense of humor, not because I desire to be the center of attention.
- I’m giving because so much has been given to me and I’m grateful, not because I am trying to buy loyalty.
- I am who I am because of who God has made me and true friendships should celebrate that.
In hindsight, how many ideas have been aborted because my focus was on the wrong thing? How many people have I not helped because I worried over the feelings of one when what I could have done could have helped hundreds including that one? I have come to this resolution. I can no longer be more loyal to my friends than I am to my God given purpose. That sometimes I have to accept that certain friends are for the past and it’s ok. I finally get that when the fundamental principals of what it takes to maintain a friendship diverges between two people nostalgia can not sustain the relationship. I will no longer pretend to be less than who I am and who God has made me just to placate folks who are in essence vision blockers. If you fall into this category and you are going to continue to call yourself my friend, you are either going to grow up or we will just grow apart.
Make It A Blessed