Thursday, May 5, 2011
I completed my Insanity workout today but I am not going to discuss that because I want to share something else that was in my spirit. After all, you’ve already read about my feelings regarding the Recovery day of Insanity; I told you last week before I fell off the wagon…lol
|This move is included on the Recovery day!|
Until I had my “rock bottom moment,” my desire to exercise, change my eating habits, and ultimately lose weight was an on/off thing. It was during this “rock bottom moment” that I realized my reasons for trying to improve myself were focused on any and everything except me. I would try to lose weight because I didn’t want my kids to be embarrassed because their mother was heavy. I wanted to lose weight because I wanted to be “sexy” for my husband. I wanted to lose weight because I did not like being referred to as the light-skinned, heavy set lady. Keep in mind, my children never acted as if they were embarrassed when I was around, my husband always told me (and still does) how beautiful and sexy he thought I was, and I don’t think people who described me were being mean, but because I was not happy with me, I perceived these things. Finally, I had a “light bulb moment” and realized that I needed to be selfish.
Being selfish comes with a stigma; after all it does mean that you lack consideration for others. However, what I learned was that I needed to be selfish if I wanted to improve myself mind, body, and spirit. I realized that I could not do it for my husband, kids, or others; my desire had to come from within. I needed to love me and if I did not like what I saw when I looked in the mirror, then I needed to fix it. Although I solicited the support of my family as I worked to improve me I had to be selfish and focus on what I needed to do to become the me I wanted to be.
Improving our health…mind, body, and soul has to be something that is selfish. You have to change because you want to change, not because others think you need to do.
Day 4 is in the books…again
Peace & Love