Mental Health Awareness: Speaking out about Bulimia

For many years, I have written on my various blogs about living with bulimia. http://clevawords.blogspot.com    Its something that many don't understand and don't realize so many live in secrecy about. I'm a recovering bulimic. Bulimia is a mental disorder. Plan and simple. For the first time, I will be talking with a group this weekend about my history of eating disorders, body image, anxiety, and coping. I do feel the need to share with other women, especially black women, about this issue. Many women suffer from an eating disorder in one form or another especially binge eating disorder or emotional eating.  Let's let go of the secrey and let the healing begin.

woman in the mirror

There are still issues I'm dealing with. I don't allow or like my picture to be taken. I'm also a workaholic. Both are anxiety and coping issues that are related to my history of bulimia. For me, bulimia wasn't and isn't about losing weight.  Its about coping and the manner in which I address stress.  Yes, some of it is wrapped in body image but its not central to my illness.  Just a symptom, a by product.

I've been in the process of healing for a few years.  I no longer binge/purge but I still have anxiety issues that are being addressed. I've embraced my humanity. I'm flawed and I'm beautiful.  Takes a while to get there but bulimia has been a part of my journey since my 20s.  I've lived with it. I'm ok with saying I've had a mental illness.  Healing can only start with being honest and transparent. I've blogged about bulimia for a few years and I will continue to do so. 

So, this Saturday, I will collaborate with Voice!boX and speak on living with bulimia, not as the Executive Director of CWUW or the Prevention Manager of the Damien Center, but as Rhonda....a everyday person, experiencing everyday things. 

Be Well...

'You Think THAT'S Crazy...' VOICE!boX Inc EmPOWERtainment Session

The Griot Village

6213 La Pas Trail

Indianapolis, Indiana

SUBJECT MATTER: SERIOUS

ATMOSPHERE: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

COME Curious. Leave EmPOWERtained! BE. EAT. SPEAK. & WIN. FREELY.

Join Us for this INTERACTIVE Mental Health Awareness Session & MORE

OUT!LOUD for VOICE!boX Performers & Presenters:

Kenye Fudiyah
Rhonda Bayless
Pam Bass

SESSIONS TEXT re|MIND|er & RSVP text: 317.590.4300

I love you but I hate you: Food

Rhonda's Journey to Total Health:

The biggest issue for me is my relationship with FOOD. Its a love/hate thing. I have my favorites like anyone else but like so many women, its become a very unhealthy relationship.

The first thing I had to do was to recognize the relationship. I wasn't really able to face my eating disorder until about five years ago. It was then when I was finally ok with saying that I've been a bulimic since my late 20's and I have unhealthy body image issues. It wasn't about telling the world but telling Rhonda. With all the loving affirmations people want you to do, sometimes the best affirmation is to get real.

So where am I know with bulimia and food? Interesting enough, I know understand why some drug addicts say they are always an addict. It used to really bug me but really what they are saying is that they need to have a heighten awareness that they can't partake in any mood or mind altering substance for the rest of their lives. Well unlike the drug addict, you can't just obtain from food. I have to eat and this is the difference between the drug addict and the person with an eating disorder including binge eating. But bulimia isn't about food necessarily but about control. I'm sure some of you have the same issue.

Food issues go deeper for many people than just controlling calorie counts and just working it. Food provides comfort. It is a drug for some so you can't just fix the outside but you have to get to the heart of the issue. What is bugging you? Why won't you take the opportunity to really live and be healthy? What is your relationship with food, family and friends? Some of us need to think about that while others need to stop being lazy and get moving! :)

I tell folks that I'm perfectly flawed. I believe that my journey in all of my life's experiences are teachable moments for myself and others and will continue to share this interesting tale.

Take hold of YOU. Life pushed the junk in but we are responsible to get the junk out. Your issue may not be food but bitterness, jealously, envy, violence, etc. There's no need to be embarrassed. Just face it and fix it. Pray and meditate. You are Loved. Lets Go!

CWUW was developed so women and their families could have a place to GET REAL and learn how to move from destruction to perfection. "Be Ye Perfect" as the great Teacher said so that means its in you to be - perfect. This blog is for you as well. If you want to share, share. Add your comments, observations, revelations, etc.

Let's Live Life Well!


Sincerely,

Rhonda

Time to step up

I've been working with a wellness coach and it has been a journey. I'm learning about myself and what I really need to do.

Even though you have the KNOWLEDGE, life has put of roadblocks to being wise and applying that knowledge to your life.

I've had to look at my body image issue very closely. Its dangerous for my psyche. Its planted in control, fertilized in lies, and loved in BS. At the end, here comes Bulimia. It rolls off the tongue like its some weird yet exotic name. (I'm hoping no child is named Bulimia). I've cultivated this side of me. I've nurtured it, supported it, excused it, and even believed in it. Nuts right? Not really. I'm human. The important thing is to start the weeding process and face it.

I completely appreciate Delana (the wellness coach). She is hardcore and yet loving. She wants to see you enlightenment and moving forward. Keep it moving! She holds me accountable and that's all most of this is about in some odd way. Its about the dance between letting go of control and yet embracing discipline.

I gained 25lbs in 2008 partially due to back issues. My goal is to lose 40lbs.

I will take this journey publicly. I will blog on both sites (my own blog and CWUWs). I will document the ups and downs of this journey because we all need to see that it can be done even if you're operating with a psychosis like Bulimia. I will walk the talk.

Are you ready? Lets go!!

I'll provide info for Delana's business in upcoming blogs.